Do You Know Where You're Going to?

This is like the most suitable song with my life.
Yes, how sad the answers to those questions can be.

(M. Masser/G. Goffin)

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies
That filled our minds
You knew how I loved you
But my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions
That you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long
Before we'll see
How sad the answers
To those questions can be

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Will you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

Your Feelings, Now Mine

I hope someday you'll understand
that children are what their parents are
No, don't get insulted
You just haven't realized yet
I can't blame you and I'm not supposed to
We're only human

Even my friend said,
"She's nice...,
but the way she talks to you is just 'simple'."
I don't say that there's no love between us
It's just that we're not used to the affection
We don't show it explicitly
Even sometimes we have a doubt in our hearts,
"Don't you love me?"
while we know deep within our hearts
our bond will not be torn

In times you're not calling me
for a month
I cried, asking why
but then I get used to it
and I think
maybe you trust me so much
that you don't worry about me

You keep asking why
they acted this way
Why don't they act like others who hug their brothers
The reality is
this is our family
this is how we act
this is how we feel
this is the culture you somehow created
Even your mother said so

Do you want it to change?
I can see the way you've changed a bit
but changing people is not an easy thing, isn't it?
Take time, deep breath, wise thought
maybe we don't need to change anyway.

Regret vs Gratitude

If regret wins, pessimism will take over your thought.
If gratitude wins, ambitions will control your mind.

I wish to have no regret in my life.
Even I made my own quote,
"Have no regret" and commit to it.
But regrets come so often when I come to think about it.
Regrets for not being serious.
Regrets for not being ambitious.
Regrets for not being consistent.
Regrets for not being persistent.
So many chances I've missed,so many regrets I've got.
Here and now, what else can be done?
No, sorry, once again, that's a regretful statement.
The question should be
What more should I do?

And the only reason not to have any regrets is
that all we've got in life is His gift.
Thank Him.

PONARI

PONARI
Potret Ke-Norak-an Rakyat Indonesia

Ini apa saya doang yang kalo nonton beritanya berasa kaya ngimpi ya?
Berasa ga sih?
Kaya di film-fil gitu lowch.
Yang ada berita kejadian ada monster lah, UFO menyerang lah, superhero lah.
Menurut saya itu sama.
Apa dunia ini memang telah berubah menuju dunia khayal?
Ataukah semua orang tertipu dengan sugesti masing-masing?

Go Back to Sleep, Find Another Dream

Pengen nangis rasanya...
saking siriknya
saking irinya
saking pengennya
ngerasain kuliah di negeri orang
dapet beasiswa

I was looking over my SMP friend's facebook photos.
She's studying in Japan now.
I think about my SMA friend.
She's in a preparation to go to Japan.
Will I get that chance?

Dulu beres SMA, saya pengeen banget nyari beasiswa ke Korea.
EHEM.Maklum lagi demen2nya sama "kebudayaan" Korea (a.k.a. artis2nya)
Tapi apa?
Ga ketemu!
Udah pake segala jenis Search Engine dengan segala jenis phrase yang terpikirkan.

The shittest thing is
baru-baru ini saya baru tahu caranya apply beasiswa undergraduate.
Cuma harus dikirim ke Embassynya aja.
Programnya 1thn pelatihan bahasa dan 4th kuliah.
Total 5 tahun.

Sekarang saya udah kuliah di SBM.
Kuliahnya sebentar sih 3 tahun.
Tapi bayarnya mahal.
Ga mungkin ditinggal.

Ga mungkin saya mengejar impian itu lagi.
Find another one?

L-O-V-E

Semalam aku mimpi
mimpi buruk sekali..

HEITS
bukan ah saya bukan mau nyanyi dangdut.
Bener sih semalam mimpi, but it was THE SWEETEST DREAM ever (selain mimpi dipeluk Joel Madden zaman baheula,baru kali ini lagi dapet mimpi nyenengin kaya gini).
It was simple.
Just a boy acting nice to me.
Give some attention and show that he cares.
prikipiiiiiw...

Padahal baru sebelumnya saat di perjalanan bersama Nana dan Nadya,terjadi percakapan tiba-tiba tentang cinta...(karena film Slumdog Millionaire yang baru saja kami saksikan)
Nadya : "Ya ampuun, gw udah ga pernah punya gebetan lagi! Lu kapan terakhir punya gebetan, Na?"
Nana : "Ya, gw sih paling ya yang waktu SMA itu"
Nadya : "Kalo lu, Da?"
Alida : "Gw udah ga pernah mikirin cinta."
siiing....krik...krik...krik...DHUARR!!!
Tawa Nadya pun menggelegar dan merangsang sinyal tawa yang sama pada saya dan Nana.
Nana : "HUAHAHAHA,kok jadi kaya sinetron!"
Alida : "Ya abis gimana?My life has been fun already gitu!Hahahaa".
Bener deh, selama ini emang udah ga pernah kepikiran lagi.Sepanjang hari sibuk sama tugas kuliah.Kalaupun enggak pasti menyibukkan diri bersama kawan-kawan.

Tapi entah kenapa mimpi itu datang mengusik saya.Is it just a basic instinct of a human?
Yes,of course I guess.
I wish to get it.
But to get something, you have to give something.
Should I give it first, or wait till someone give it to me and then return it?
It's a love cycle, baby.
Not understandable.

"Love is just a word until someone you meet gives it a proper meaning,"-Anonymous

Maybe that's why I haven't understood what love is and how much it is needed in a life.

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile,"-Franklin P. Jones.

So, my life hasn't been wotrhwhile?
Yet...